Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz, Rabbi of the Western Wall and Holy Sites
At the end of Tractate Ta’anit in the Mishnah, our Sages make a surprising statement:
“There were no days as joyous for Israel as the fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur.”
On these days, the young women of Jerusalem would go out dressed in white… And what would they say?
“Young man, lift up your eyes and see what you choose for yourself. Do not set your eyes on beauty; set your eyes on family…”
At first glance, the comparison seems puzzling. Yom Kippur is a solemn day of fasting, forgiveness, and profound closeness to God. What does it have in common with Tu B’Av, which at first appears to be a celebration of matchmaking and romance? What places these two days together in the same category of holiness and joy?
The answer lies in one concept that gives both days their power: a second chance.
Yom Kippur is the day of a second chance in our relationship with the Creator. It is the day on which the second tablets were given, the day on which the sin of the Golden Calf was forgiven, demonstrating that even after a profound fall, the way back is always open and the relationship is not lost. It is a day of forgiveness and atonement every year, as it is written: “For on this day He shall make atonement for you, to cleanse you from all your sins.” There is no greater second chance than this.
Tu B’Av, too, is a day of second chances. It is a day of a second chance in our relationship with one another. It was born out of a painful chapter in our history: the Book of Judges tells how, following the episode of the Concubine at Gibeah, a terrible civil war erupted, in which the tribe of Benjamin was nearly wiped out. The oath not to give their daughters in marriage created a rupture that seemed final and irreversible. And yet, precisely there, from the depths of despair, the people and their leaders chose not to give up. On Tu B’Av, they allowed the tribe of Benjamin to return and rejoin the nation. It was a declaration: There is no rupture that cannot be repaired, and there is no person who cannot be given another chance.
From this foundation, Tu B’Av became a day associated with matchmaking and building homes. But its message is not meant only for young people at the beginning of their journey. It speaks with particular power to those who are still searching – to those who have endured exhausting rounds of dating, experienced disappointments, or reached a later stage in life and secretly fear that their time has passed, that the train has left the station and the opportunity is gone.
Tu B’Av comes to proclaim a different message: It is never too late, and you haven’t missed it.
On both Yom Kippur and Tu B’Av, our Father in Heaven conveys the same message to us: There is always another chance. The Holy One, blessed be He, does not give up on us, and He asks us not to give up either – neither on our relationship with Him nor on our ability to build a home.
These are the best days of the year because both carry the promise of renewal: the possibility of making things right, beginning again, and knowing that your opportunity is still waiting for you.
