Yes to speaking up, no to hurting! Yes to correcting, no to gossip!
Parashat Beha’alotcha – 5785
By Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz, Rabbi of the Western Wall and Holy Sites
In Parashat Beha’alotcha, we read about the sin of the prophetess Miriam and the punishment she received—a story we are commanded to remember as one of the “Six Remembrances,” as it says:
“Remember what the Lord your God did to Miriam on the journey after you left Egyp
(Deuteronomy 24:9)
Let us pause and reflect on Miriam’s situation—Miriam, the sister of Moses our teacher—to understand why her mistake and punishment are so significant that we are commanded to remember them every day. And how is it logical to teach the prohibition of lashon hara (harmful speech) through a message that involves seemingly speaking lashon hara about Miriam?
This story takes place during the Israelites’ journey through the desert. God is angry at the complaining and grumbling nation, and Moses, the faithful shepherd, turns to God for help:
“I cannot carry this entire people alone, for it is too heavy for me.”
(Numbers 11:14)
Right before the episode of “Kivrot HaTa’avah,” where the people were struck by a severe plague, God instructed Moses to gather seventy elders who would share the burden of leading the people and would receive the spirit of prophecy.
Among these elders were Eldad and Medad, who began to prophesize. Tziporah, Moses’ wife, upon hearing this, spontaneously uttered a heartfelt remark. Miriam, her sister-in-law, overheard—and was deeply shaken.
Rashi cites the early Midrash of Rabbi Tanchuma on this:
“Miriam was near Tziporah when it was said to Moses, ‘Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.’ When Tziporah heard this, she said, ‘Woe to the wives of these men! If they become prophets, they will separate from their wives as my husband did from me.’”
Miriam could not remain indifferent to her sister-in-law’s pain. She suddenly realized that Tziporah had been condemned to a life of separation and loneliness. The Sages tell us that Tziporah was exceptionally beautiful in both appearance and deeds—someone whom all agreed was stunning in her inner and outer qualities. Miriam, the responsible older sister who had watched over Moses since infancy on the banks of the Nile, could not understand why Moses had taken such a path.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains that Miriam’s sorrow ran even deeper. She believed that if Tziporah had more children with Moses, they could bring light to the world. She could not bear Tziporah’s anguish nor the loss to humanity, and so she chose to speak out—not out of idle gossip, but from sincere concern and deep compassion.
And yet, the punishment came swiftly and sharply: Miriam was struck with tzara’at (a spiritual skin affliction akin to leprosy) and was sent outside the camp for seven days.
The Torah recounts, In extraordinary detail, Moses’ heartfelt prayer for his sister’s recovery and how all of Israel waited for her to heal. And this is the message that God wants us to remember for all generations.
Even if you’re not a habitual gossip… even if you speak out of a genuine sense of justice, without any malice—there is still a right and wrong way to give criticism and to speak up.
In Miriam’s case, her mistake was bringing Aaron into the matter. She should have spoken directly to Moses—shared her concerns and worries privately with him.
This is a vital lesson—and that’s why we are commanded to remember this daily: Speak up! Share your opinion! Try to bring about change—but not through gossip and not with hurtful words. Speak directly to the person involved. Gently point out the mistake. Offer advice on how to improve. That way, the world will be more whole—and more kind.
