Parashat Vayechi 5786
Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz, Rabbi of the Western Wall and Holy Sites
Parashat Vayechi describes the meeting between Joseph and his father Jacob while Jacob is ill, shortly before his passing. Joseph brings with him his two sons – Manasseh, the firstborn, and Ephraim, the younger – so that they may receive a personal blessing from their righteous grandfather.
Jacob blesses them as stated in the Torah:
“And he blessed them on that day, saying: By you shall Israel bless, saying: May God make you like Ephraim and like Manasseh.”
(Genesis 48:20)
Rashi explains Jacob’s intention: one who comes to bless his sons will bless them with this blessing and say to each of his sons, “May God make you like Ephraim and like Manasseh.” Indeed, these words open the familiar formula recited by Jewish parents when blessing their sons on special occasions – on Friday night, before a wedding, on the eve of Yom Kippur: “May God make you like Ephraim and like Manasseh. May the Lord bless you and protect you; may the Lord shine His face upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift His face toward you and grant you peace.”
Of all the twelve tribes, it was specifically Manasseh and Ephraim who merited that every parent would wish their sons to be like them. They grew up amid the impurity of Egypt, yet preserved the morality, values, and traditions of their ancestral home. They became a model for every child – one for whom we hope and pray that he will maintain his faith even in the face of the temptations and trials of his time.
This moment, in which Jacob blesses his grandsons, was etched into Jewish memory for generations, and the wording of the blessing became an inseparable part of Jewish culture. Yet behind the simple words, a real drama unfolded, as described in the verses:
“And Joseph took them both – Ephraim in his right hand, to Israel’s left, and Manasseh in his left hand, to Israel’s right – and brought them close to him. But Israel stretched out his right hand and placed it on Ephraim’s head, though he was the younger, and his left hand on Manasseh’s head; he crossed his hands, for Manasseh was the firstborn… and he placed Ephraim before Manasseh.”
(Genesis 48:13-20)
Manasseh was the firstborn, and therefore Joseph positioned him at Jacob’s right side, the more honored position. But Jacob surprised everyone: he crossed his hands, placing his right hand on the head of the younger Ephraim, and his left hand on the head of Manasseh, the firstborn.
The Torah relates that Joseph tried to correct what he thought was a mistake, but Jacob stood firm. Manasseh would indeed become a great tribe, yet the tribe of Ephraim would be even greater, producing distinguished leaders such as Joshua son of Nun, the disciple of Moses our teacher and the leader who brought the people into the Land of Israel. Therefore, Ephraim deserved the blessing with the more important hand – the right hand.
This is how events unfolded, but we must understand the manner in which Jacob acted. Jacob was a very old man, lying on his deathbed, seeking to bless his grandsons. In his view, the order established by Joseph needed to be reversed, placing Ephraim on the right, the more honored side. Yet instead of explicitly telling Joseph to change their positions, Jacob chose to cross his hands, placing them diagonally. Why did he exert himself to act this way rather than simply asking to rearrange the boys?
The simple answer is that he did not wish to openly undermine Joseph’s actions, nor did he want to embarrass Manasseh publicly. Therefore, he acted in a subtler manner. But there is a deeper message here.
Many people enjoy criticizing and lecturing others, but few are capable of changing themselves and truly acknowledging their own mistakes. It is a familiar phenomenon that those who tell everyone else what to do often do the least themselves. A telling example occurred at a major fundraising event: one wealthy man urged his peers to donate, but when asked how much he himself was giving, he replied, “Isn’t it enough that I make sure others give – do I also have to give myself?” Clearly, this claim is absurd. To persuade others, one must set a personal example.
As the great sages have said: most people begin by wanting to change the world, and therefore they fail. One who succeeds in changing himself ultimately changes the world around him as well.
Jacob our patriarch demonstrates this perfectly. Instead of telling Joseph, “Change the position of my grandsons,” he changes his own hands and conveys his intention quietly yet effectively. Jacob knows that he is the one choosing to depart from convention, and therefore the responsibility lies with him to find the way to do so rather than placing the burden on others.
In our modern, confrontational media age, so many people are busy telling the world how it should change, criticizing and preaching to others, and dismissing opinions different from their own. From Jacob’s actions we learn a sharp and clear message: anyone who truly wants change must begin with himself. To be better, more generous, more understanding, and more open to differing views – only in this way is a positive cycle created, and its impact on the world can be deep and meaningful.
Remember: change begins with you, and then, others will follow.
