The Lives of Others are Sacred – Parashat Balak
Parashat Balak – 5785
Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz, Rabbi of the Western Wall and Holy Sites
In this week’s Torah portion, Balak, we read about Balaam, who was hired to curse the Jewish people as they approached the Land of Israel. But instead, G-d transformed his curses into blessings. One of Balaam’s blessings became a central part of the Jewish prayer service, and is recited each morning in the Shacharit prayer:
“How good are your tents, O Jacob, your dwellings, O Israel”
(Numbers 24:5)
The background to this blessing, according to our Sages, comes after Balaam lifted his eyes toward the people of Israel and saw the layout of their dwellings, as it is said:
“And Balaam saw Israel dwelling tribe by tribe” — What did he see? He saw that the entrances of their tents were not aligned one with another.
(Bava Batra 60a)
Why did this specific detail so impress Balaam and move him to utter such a powerful expression of admiration? At first glance, it seems like a simple and logical residential layout — why would anyone place the entrance of their home facing directly into their neighbor’s?
But this layout was more than just a matter of architectural design. The non-aligned entrances symbolized a deep value: respect for others’ privacy. The Israelites impressed Balaam not just by the placement of their tents, but by their discretion — their refusal to intrude into each other’s lives.
Many human problems arise from prying, jealous, judgmental eyes — eyes that compare, belittle, envy, or look for faults in others’ lives or families.
A truly blessed and admirable community is one in which members are attentive to others’ needs and pain, but not intrusive into their privacy.
Another person’s “tent” is his own sacred space — we have no right to look inside, and certainly no right to gossip about what’s inside.
A quality community is one that cares deeply but does not meddle, that doesn’t ignore suffering, but also doesn’t poke around out of curiosity or superiority.
The life of the individual is sacred, and we are not entitled to scrutinize it.
When a person trains themselves not to look at others’ lives, their own life becomes better too — because many personal struggles come from measuring ourselves against the lives of others: our surroundings, society, extended family.
When a person faces hardship, part of the emotional pain is the thought:
“Why did this happen only to me?”
Too often, the social response to someone’s personal difficulty — whether through judgment, curiosity, or comparison — amplifies the pain.
This is why, during Jewish wedding celebrations, we offer the following blessing:
“Gladden the beloved friends as You gladdened Your creation in the Garden of Eden from days of old.”
Why do we mention Adam — the first human — in this blessing? Were his days so joyful and peaceful that we wish the same for the couple? In truth, Adam’s life in Eden was blissful in one unique way: he had no one to compare himself to. He never thought, “Look how good so-and-so has it,” or “What a wonderful family they have.” There was no so-and-so. He simply accepted life as it was, without the burden of comparison or social pressure.
When those probing eyes are absent, life is so much lighter.
In short:
Compassionate eyes and a kind heart — yes.
Probing eyes and a gossiping tongue — no.
