Turning Sorrow into Strength – Parashat Vayishlach

Turning Sorrow into Strength – Parashat Vayishlach 5784

Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz, Rabbi of the Western Wall and Holy Sites

In Parashat Toldot, we read about the birth of our forefather Jacob to Rebecca and Isaac and the blessings he received from his father originally intended for his brother Esau. In the following portion, Vayetze, we follow Jacob as he leaves his parents’ home and arrives in Haran, where he takes his two wives, Rachel and Leah, and contends with the trickery of his father-in-law, Laban. In the end, Jacob has no choice but to flee with his family and possessions from Haran back to the land of Canaan – the land of Israel in our times – intending to return to his elderly parents.

However, on his way, another challenge awaits him, and it won’t be the last in the series of challenges that accompany his life. He prepares to meet his twin brother, Esau, recalling the blessings that Jacob received in lieu of Esau. Ultimately, the meeting, accompanied by great apprehension, ends peacefully. Esau bids farewell to Jacob, heading to Edom, the region east of the Jordan River, while Jacob turns westward towards the land of Canaan. There, in Shechem, after acquiring a plot of land, he grapples with the abduction and rape of his daughter Dinah by the son of the local ruler – an event that concludes with the courageous rescue of Dinah at the cost of the lives of the men of Shechem by Simeon and Levi, Jacob’s sons – an event that Jacob is ambivalent about and struggles to reconcile with.

And if that’s not enough, on his way from Shechem to Hebron, the city of his parents’ residence, tragedy befalls him: his beloved wife Rachel goes into labor to give birth to their second son, and during childbirth, she dies. The infant survives, but Rachel, his beloved wife and companion, will no longer accompany Jacob. He buries her by the roadside, near Bethlehem, a place that to this day serves as a focal point for prayers for individuals and the nation – Kever Rachel (Rachel’s Tomb).

In her final moments, Rachel managed to give a name to the tender baby, about to lose his mother in a few moments. She calls him “Ben-Oni.” The meaning of this name expresses Rachel’s immense sorrow. “Ben-Oni” can be interpreted as “son of my sorrow.” Rachel, who had waited so long to have a child and for whom this was a second son, looks at her baby with her remaining strength and sees in him the reflection of the terrible sorrow of a mother who will not merit raising her son.

But Jacob changes the name “Ben-Oni” slightly and calls him “Benjamin” – “son of the right hand.” Why does Jacob change the name given by Rachel, and what is the significance of the new name he bestows upon his son?

One of the greatest biblical commentators of the Middle Ages, the Ramban (Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman, Spain-Israel, 13th century), explained the name change. Jacob did not alter the child’s name but assigned a new meaning to the name Rachel had given. “Ben-Oni” can be interpreted as “son of my sorrow,” but it can also be understood as “son of my strength.” To emphasize the new meaning of the name, Jacob calls him “Benjamin” – “son of the right hand.” The right hand symbolizes strength and success. The original name remains “Ben-Oni” as Rachel determined, but its meaning transforms from sorrow and mourning to strength and success.

In these illuminating words, Jacob shows us the way to emerge from difficult situations. Not to suppress the sorrow and mourning but to turn them into a catalyst for strength and success. Instead of succumbing to despair, we can cultivate the desire to fill the void, to remedy the lacking, to act for the good, and to fight against evil. Sorrow may paralyze us and lead to depression, but we can grow from it, drawing strength to turn the painful story into a tale of triumph and heroism.